Roots of Suffering
The 3 reasons why we hold onto our stories
Core Wounds
1. Unacceptability
Belief: I am not enough, or I am too much
Core Feeling: Shame / Unworthiness
Root Experience: Conditional love, criticism, comparison.
Message internalized: “I must change or hide to be loved.”
2. Unattainability
Belief: What I want isn’t available to me.
Core Feeling: Deprivation / Loss
Root Experience: Emotional neglect, inconsistent caregiving, withheld affection or resources.
Message internalized: “No matter how much I want or try, it won’t happen for me.” This environment feels wrong (Gatekeeper/Critic)
3. Separation
Belief: I’m different, and I can’t connect with others in a meaningful way.
Core Feeling: Rejection / Abandonment
Root Experience: Social exclusion, cultural or familial difference, being “othered.”
Message internalized: “I don’t belong here. I’m on the outside looking in.”
Think of them like this:
Unacceptability: Who I am is unacceptable
Unattainability: What I want is always out of reach.
Separation: I don’t belong here and never will.
Removing emotional scars
The secret is this:
To really “live,” that is, to find life reasonably satisfying, you must have an adequate and realistic self-image that you can live with. You must find your self acceptable to “you.” You must have a wholesome self-esteem. You must have a self that you can trust and believe in.
You must have a self that you are not ashamed to “be,” and one that you can feel free to express creatively, rather than to hide or cover up. You must know yourself—both your strengths and your weaknesses — and be honest with yourself concerning both. Your self-image must be a reasonable approximation of “you,” being neither more than you are, nor less than you are.
Maltz, Maxwell, author of Psycho-Cybernetics
Know that when you do not feel that you are adequate — when limiting beliefs drive you to protect your ego and your character — life will most likely feel unsettling. If you want to change that, then you’ll have to uncover the root cause behind this lack of self-esteem.
As a mentor once told me: “Either face your demons or they will raise your children…”
Imagine your mind is the home you live in.
Your conscious awareness helps you rearrange the furniture. You have total control over how each room looks. But the blueprint— the foundation, walls, electrical wiring, and plumbing — you don't have control over that. You inherited it. Now, what happens if, after decades of use, the plumbing stops working or the electrical wiring proves to be faulty? You didn't cause any of that, but it's on you to invest in the upgrades, and no amount of rearranging furniture will make your home more pleasurable to live in if you have faulty foundations, crumbling walls and leaky pipes. Our minds are quite similar. Our inner wiring came in large part from our parents and the environments we spent the most time in as children. This is our learned experience. And this wiring is actually a layer beneath our conscious awareness—that invisible filter quietly determining how we see ourselves and our potential. Experts theorize it’s responsible for 80% of our personality and up to 90% of our daily automatic thoughts and behaviors. So, in this way, it’s really our subconscious mind (our inner voice) that shapes our worldview and creates the emotional weight behind what often holds us back—from taking meaningful risks —to living our lives fully. Sadly, some of us never fortify our inner foundation. Our inner wiring needs updating. The good news is it's easy to fix. When we learn to work with this incredible tool hidden within us, it can change everything. In spiritual circles, we call this our awakening. In psychological spaces, it’s called making the unconscious conscious. Whatever the label, it’s powerful and life-changing. In our work together: You'll learn how to identify and update the limiting beliefs that have been protecting you. Shift from trying to control your environment to finding safety in your body, where true transformation begins. Rebuild trust around your identity in a way no simple mindset hack ever could. If nothing has worked for you, it's not because you failed; it's because no one showed you how to meet your core identity where the foundational work lives. This is the work that makes sustainable transformation possible. 📍Apply to work with me, and we’ll find the answer together. Because of the nature of this work, I only take on a limited number of clients at a time.
Removing Emotional Scars
Believe it or not, the one thing that actually owns us, time and again, is an invisible filter that has undue influence on our lives—our unconscious mind. Stoic philosopher Seneca said, “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” And our imagination and emotional states are far more powerful than our logical mind could ever hope to be. This is one reason why we know what to do, but still don’t act on it.
As is often the case, rather than asking, “What am I going to do about my circumstances?” someone asks, “What are my circumstances trying to tell me?” Those are radically different orientations toward agency. They focus on parts of your story, while ignoring the rest. Neither on its own will get you to your destination…
Imagine your internal programming is like a radio frequency
Yet, no matter how hard you turn the knob, it only picks up one station, and that station is run by a tiny portion of your mind.
This part developed when you were a small child, and didn’t understand complexity.
It absorbed everything you fed it, and now, it’s making you upset.
RTT trains your mind to work for you, not against you—especially under stress.
It helps us explore the subconscious beliefs and inner self-talk that may be shaping our challenges, often revealing insights that are difficult to access consciously.
You'll learn how to identify and eliminate the hidden beliefs and blind spots your mind and body have been organizing around—maybe even for decades.