The Illusion of the Drama: Why Some Stories Haunt Us More Than Others
For the longest time, I couldn’t shake it.
There was a story—one I wasn’t even in—that kept pulling at me. I’d think about it in quiet moments. I’d bring it up in conversations. I’d sit with it, turning it over and over in my mind, trying to make sense of it.
And I kept asking myself:
Why does this keep haunting me?
It wasn’t my life. It wasn’t my problem to fix. But it felt personal. Like if I could just unravel it, I’d find something I’d been missing.
Until I finally saw it. Emotional monopolization.
It was the glue holding the whole thing together—the thing I hadn’t been able to name before.
One person’s emotions being the only ones that mattered.
The need for validation eclipsing everyone else’s perspective.
The demand for vindication, not resolution.
And suddenly, it wasn’t about them anymore. It was about something familiar.
A dynamic I had lived through.
A pattern I had spent years unconsciously trying to make right.
A loop my nervous system knew too well.
The moment I named it, the spell broke.
I no longer felt the need to solve it—because I realized it was never mine to solve.
The Work Works (Even in Baby Steps)
That story? It doesn’t pull me like it did last year.
I’ve been doing the work.
Not in some grand, sweeping moment of healing—but in the small ways, day after day. Noticing when my body tenses. When my mind starts replaying old dynamics. When I feel that urge to fix, explain, or prove.
And now? It’s different. I don’t feel consumed by it. The emotional charge isn’t the same.
This is what happens when we start recognizing the real reason certain stories grip us:
🔹 Safety – When someone else’s emotions take up all the space, our own reality feels unstable, unpredictable. (Will my emotions even be considered? Will I be safe here?)
🔹 Trust – Emotional monopolization rewrites the truth—whoever claims the emotional high ground “wins.” (Can I trust my own experience, or will it always be rewritten by someone else’s feelings?)
🔹 Belonging – Am I truly welcome for who I am, or only if I don’t disrupt their emotional dominance?
🔹 Prioritization – Do my emotions carry the same weight, or do theirs always matter more?
🔹 Worthiness – If my emotions aren’t validated, do I even matter?
Once you see it, you step out of the loop. You move from reacting to observing. You reclaim your emotional space.
And that’s where I find myself now.
Not needing to keep solving something that was never mine to fix.
Not needing to make it make sense.
Just choosing to let it go.
Now, I can focus on what inspires me instead of what drains me. I can move toward creation, vision, sovereignty—instead of being caught in an endless loop of reaction.
And maybe that’s the real shift:
Not needing to prove anything.
Not needing to fight for emotional oxygen.
Just standing fully in the space that was always mine.
What About You?
What’s a story—big or small—that’s had a grip on you? And what does it reveal?
Drop your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to hear.
