You Don’t Have a Money Problem, Babe. You Have a Capacity Problem.

Why “more” won’t fix what your subconscious still believes you can’t hold — and how to finally expand your ability to keep what you’ve been asking for.

Let’s be real — most of us were sold the same story.

That life will feel better when…

…we get the dream job.

…we hit a certain income.

…we finally have the freedom to work where we want.

The myth says: more is the answer.

But research has shown over and over — it’s not. We adjust to “more” faster than we think. The new baseline becomes normal. The joy fades. And we’re back on the chase again.

So if “more” isn’t the answer… what is?

The Question That Makes People Squirm

If I asked you:

How much joy can you stand?

How much ease can you allow without sabotaging it?

Most people laugh nervously, deflect, or change the subject.

Because here’s the thing — joy can feel threatening when your nervous system has been trained for survival, not abundance.

When you’ve spent years in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, the body doesn’t trust safety. It doesn’t believe good things will last. It will literally reject what you’ve been asking for because it feels too unfamiliar.

(Believe me, I spent years right here)

The Midas Problem

The Greeks told it first. Midas prayed for everything he touched to turn to gold. At first, it was intoxicating — proof of his power. But soon, his food, his water, even his daughter became lifeless in his arms.

He got “more.” But he lost everything that mattered.

Abundance without capacity destroys the very things you value most.

The Real Issue: Your Basket Is Leaking

If your subconscious believes money = drama, risk, or heavy responsibility, it will find ways to push it away.

Not because you’re lazy. Not because you don’t deserve it. But because your body hasn’t learned how to hold it without fear.

It’s like the Native American story of the woman with the leaky basket. She walked to the river over and over, but the water drained out before she reached home. The problem wasn’t the river. It was the basket.

More money won’t help if your capacity to hold it is full of leaks — old beliefs, patterns, and unprocessed fears that drain the joy out of what you’ve received. Your shadow beliefs make sure of it.

Let Go of the Grip

A Buddhist tale tells of a monk at a river, clutching his empty bowl so tightly that nothing could be poured in.

To receive, his teacher told him, you must loosen your grip.

Wealth flows where there’s space to hold it — without the fear of losing it or needing it to prove your worth.

Here’s the truth:

Money doesn’t just flow to you. It flows through you at the level you can hold in your body without fear.

When you expand that capacity — when you show your nervous system that safety and abundance can exist in the same room — the flow changes.

Not because you hustled harder.

But because you became someone who can hold more without losing yourself.

The most effective way to do this is to uncover your shadow beliefs around money. You have more than you think. 

Money doesn’t just flow to you — it flows through you, at the level you’re capable of holding in your body. But here’s the part most people skip over: the shadow doesn’t disappear just because you decide to “think abundant thoughts.” Your shadow is still there, carrying every unexamined belief, every scarcity loop, every story about what it costs to have more.

And yes — you can absolutely do this work on your own. But the very nature of the shadow is that it hides itself from you. It will let you process the easy parts and steer you away from the jagged edges that actually need your attention. Unless someone is willing to hold up the mirror and walk you straight into the most uncomfortable truths about your worthiness, you’ll skip the very work that could set you free.

When you make peace with the shadow — not to indulge it, but to understand it — you stop sabotaging your capacity from the inside out. That’s when wealth stops feeling like a test you have to pass, and starts feeling like a relationship you can trust.

Credit: While I’ve been working with this knowledge for years as a successful hypnotherapist, mindset coach and subconscious architect, The Money Shaman gave me a deeper understanding of the “shadow” side of money and how it plays out in our subconscious. His book Shadow Money is a powerful resource, and I highly recommend it if you want to explore these patterns more fully. 

And if you’re ready to go even deeper, you can work privately with me.